How to avoid pointing out the realities of your relationship

Q: I find that my mom isn’t listening or taking any accountability for anything. She says that it’s all wrong and that I don’t know what I’m talking about, when I’m quite clearly explaining…

How to avoid pointing out the realities of your relationship

Q:

I find that my mom isn’t listening or taking any accountability for anything. She says that it’s all wrong and that I don’t know what I’m talking about, when I’m quite clearly explaining what the rules are.

She has this habit of offhand comments that make me cringe and make me mad. I can’t take it anymore.

A:

This sounds like a problem.

My partner and I have been married a long time. We seem to agree on nearly everything. The key to keeping this relationship running smoothly is knowing when to step in. If one of us feels the other is not listening, and the disagreement is getting really heated, I’ll help.

I will listen.

Just don’t react — I’m trying to let her know that this is wrong.

Q:

Every night I go to bed in the dark except for before my husband. I am usually very happy with the job he does. I have never found myself depressed or sad about this change. But recently, I have begun noticing some odd things about him.

For example, his silence for a minute is followed by a big laugh, then a happy grunting sound, which I remember him repeating over and over throughout the day on a regular basis. He also has an ongoing pattern of throwing coffee grounds into the sink. I have never seen this until now.

I know I am just pointing out things to him because I am happy with our relationship. But I do get scared when these things are happening.

Have you ever had this happen to you? If so, how did you handle it?

A:

The key to transitioning into a happy and healthy relationship is not just keeping the relationship cheerful and warm. It’s knowing when your partner is not listening, or what you need is getting through and that you will always keep on asking for what you need.

Ideally, people communicate the way they truly feel. Not the way they say they feel, or the way they act. Speak with an open mind and a full heart, so you can know what your partner feels.

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